It shouldn’t be that hard. Yes, relationships are work. But not that type of work. There will be challenges, but the challenges shouldn’t lie in relating to your partner. Or trying to get them to be what you need.
That stuff should be effortless. When the challenges lead to misery, or perpetual confusion and not a consistent desire to partner up and remedy, then it’s wrong.
It’s like, yes, raising kids is hard. They drive you nuts. But the love and obligation compel you to figure out new ways to fix it and make it better. Each positive step and win feels good. You don’t give up on them.
Having a constant stalemate in a relationship means it’s not right. No progression, also, means it’s not right. The right partner will choose to be completely in it and will be absent of hesitation.
This is not to say that you will have everything without compromise or conflict. That’s neither feasible nor possible. We all have to compromise and sort through conflicts. However, it has to be a compromise on things that we can truly live with. Not things we hope will eventually change. We must accept our partners for who they are, in this very moment. Not who they could be or will be, but who they are right now. If who they are, right now, isn’t working for you, it’s time to let go.
And, remember, you can’t make anyone love you. You cannot make them want to be, to you, who you are to them. You can’t.
But, what you can do is, open yourself to someone who will; effortlessly.