So right about now I’m sure we’re all neck deep in angsty anti-V-Day and “single and proud memes.” Isn’t it annoying?
Well, hang on there, before we embark on a shade masquerade, let’s go over a few of the reasons and points as to why a lot of people are caught all up in their feelings.
You’re married. Valentine’s Day. Big deal. You’ve already hit that finish line. You’ve went through all of the emotions of wondering if you’d be single forever. Then you met someone. You’ve managed to surpass all of the motions and efforts to show this person that you were the one. And everything turned out just fine. So you chuckle, and shake your head at all of the people wallowing in their misery at the thought of being #ForeverAlone while you’re comfortably established, a la forever style, with your mate. But let us not forget the times, ladies, when you thought life would just be you and 13 cats and the occasional times you’ve considered freezing your eggs. Or, guys, when you went out on a alcohol fueled smashing spree of pure savagery after you learned that your ex girl got engaged. K?
You’re in a relationship. This is like a toss up. Because although you may have a default Valentine, for many of you ladies, a lot is riding on the actions that unfold on this day. You are patiently waiting and preparing to be wowed and to see just how thoughtful he is going to be. As well as how valuable you are to him and how creative he can be. Some of you are waiting to make sure that you are indeed not the sidepiece. It’s full of anxiety and anticipation and may be seen as a milestone. Or, it’s seen as just another day to you because you “get treated all year round” by your significant other. That’s great! So, you’re expecting that engagement? Because, well… you’re getting it all, right? Everybody wants something. Gents, don’t fall for the okey doke of “Oh it doesn’t matter!” If you are really in to your woman, impress her. Doesn’t have to be expensive or flashy, it just has to be thoughtful and considerate. Regardless of how much she may have it all together, she’s still a woman and someone you allegedly care about, so show her. Remember, women do not forget.
“I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day like that.” Used mainly by men. because I’m sure we can agree that women focus on this holiday more. This is a slick one. Because I’m certain you see the men who proclaim this going to Independence Day barbecues and present at Thanksgiving Day dinner tables. Or on Instagram celebrating the holiday with their exes, but are trying to front for TV with you. Don’t fall for it. Clearly the holiday is NOT the problem. Anybody who is really in to you, and know that you care for something, no matter how silly or asinine it appears to them, will come through for you. And will go right along with all the cheesy sh*t you were expecting. No excuses. So when you see other people getting the lovely night of romance and you had nothing planned for yourself by your significant other, that may sting just a little. Or, you just might could be the side chick. Ouch.
You’re Single. You never have a Valentine and have most likely given up on the idea that you will ever have one. You’re staying home in your robe, with wine, food and RomComs. Bought your own damned candy! Possibly, you’re going to attend an anti-V-Day event and get plastered with your friends. Maybe you’ll go trolling for other lonely singles and take advantage of their vulnerability. You may feel a pang each time you see someone pass by with the requisite Valentine’s gifts or coming from dinner at the Capital Grille. You want to punch them in the face! F*ck them and this superficial holiday and their conspicuous consumption ass consumer whorism! They fell for it! Capitalism wins again. Then you go home and cry or pass out over the toilet, but not before drunk dialing or texting one or more of your exes.
You’re Newly Single. *sucks in air* Cringe. You are going through it. You’re standard activity partner is gone and you don’t know what to do. You had a relationship, it was snatched from you. Moving solo seems like The Matrix. You are mind-f*cked and wondering if your ex is going out with someone else. The plans you had in your mind will not come in to fruition. The gifts you had for her set aside or saved in your shopping cart, are rendered useless. Ladies, the sexy lingerie you planned to pick up and wear for him, not needed. Neither is that trip to the waxing salon. Maybe you’re angry, crying, hurt…so you let the memes fly. You wonder if you’ll become one of those single people who never have a Valentine again, ever. Then you start to hyperventilate. Whispering “whyyyyy lawd?”
It’s just a day. Yeah, it’s a day where love is put on blast and celebrated, nationally. Is everyday like that? No. Valentine’s Day is really a weeks long reminder to single people that they are single and a cause for people in fragile relationships to panic. Let’s not act like Valentine’s Day paraphernalia didn’t hit the stores and slap you in the face before you could get all of your empty Christmas gift boxes out of your house. Yes, it might be “just a day” to people who have someone showing them they care all year round. But when you’re single or in a relationship where that’s simply not happening, it’s just an unpleasant reminder. So no, it is NOT just a day. You will deal with these angsty a** memes politely and with compassion. Before you’re accidentally on purpose punched in the back of the head by a sugar, sleep and love deprived maniac who’s after your doggy bag.
And for all of my fellow singles, keep your heads up. Cry it out, I won’t judge you.
Maybe next year? At least I’ll be happy for you, trust me.