Him: Do you get lonely sometimes?
Me: O_O (Ninja what!?!?!) No, I may be alone but never lonely, I live a full life.
Him: I really like you.
At that moment, I mourned for that man’s G card. See, dating is a game no matter how much we try to deny it. I’d like to know early on that a dude has a backbone because my personality can be a bit much. Even if a guy is totally into me, I need for him to play it cool for a little while. Latch onto me too quickly, and I’ll get turned off and will retreat. It’s the commitmentphobe in me.
Lately I’ve been coming across a whole subset of men who express this type of sensitivity to me and, each time, I die a little inside. Well, after laughing, of course. I’m not saying that a man shouldn’t express his feelings. A man SHOULD express his feelings. This does not mean that a new woman he’s trying to get to know should be subject to his emotional outbursts.
Men often joke about how emotional women are, how they can’t understand us or how we’re crazy. But they’re crazy too! Who gets a call and an angry drunk text after 1 AM from a guy who is not an ex or anyone they’ve ever slept with or have even gone on a date with? Gentlemen, can you explain that phenomena? As far as I’m concerned, your feelings are unwarranted because we’re not involved. Play your position until you’ve been upgraded. Anything other than that and you will have succeeded in crying your way out of the box.
Or maybe I just have it all wrong?
I DO know that certain feelings are natural ones. They even feel impulsive sometimes. This does not mean we need to act on those feelings prematurely. Listen, I may or may not have met a super hot guy, with tattoos and a motorcycle, that I’m crazy about and now want to cut every female in his vicinity. But am I going to tell him that the first week? NO! I’ll tell him that later on down the road after he knows I’m truly not needy or crazy.
Maybe I’m dramatic, (I’ll cut you too if you agree with me) but this man asking about loneliness took me down a path that convinced me he would be an emotionally dependent leech on my
I’m not about that life. It really made him seem like he was just a socially inept, awkward dude who works at the bank. Rapist? Serial killer? Thirst bucket?
But see, it isn’t his fault. It’s my fault. People just share information about their personal lives and feelings with me and I’m all confused because I don’t recall ever giving off this Kumbaya vibe. Anytime somebody new steps into my space, I get suspicious. These situations are all my fault because I don’t bother people, I take them for who they are and don‘t try to change them. When people recognize this, they express themselves to me. I’m a good listener. Nice, right?
NO, not nice.
What people don’t understand is that just because I take you for who you are, it doesn’t mean I accept it or are ok with you. It’s far from that. I’m just a firm believer of, I’ll me be and you be you. If necessary, you can be you from over there.
With your hand lotion, sir.