Swung the Ball and Made a Touchdown

I HATE sports*. The more I expand my social media circle the more I’ve been convinced that sports never go away. Baseball is like all year round, I just know it. If it’s not football it’s basketball. If it’s not NBA basketball it’s NCAA basketball. Forbid it high school basketball starts being televised.

Men who normally talk crap about others being emotional and who take stabs at men who don’t act masculine at all times, look very terry cloth during sporting events. They’re whining, getting their blood pressure up, arguing, threatening people, and even giving the silent treatment. Sounds like a menstrual cycle to me. O_o What I don’t get is, these athletes don’t pay y’all bills but you steadily stan for them and allow them to control your feelings. But women are too emotional. Oh ok.

In my last two relationships the men didn’t care for sports. It just wasn’t interesting to them so I never fully grasped the level of intensity associated with these sporting events. Now that I’m in the loop about the impact of sports on the lives of many men I’ve been hearing that women should learn about sports as a means to get a man. I call BS. I haven’t so far been using sports as a method to get a man, so why would I have to start now?

Now, before the boxer briefs get all in a bunch, I’ll support my stance. I did say I hated sports, this is true. Do not try to teach, tell or show me anything because it will not register. You know how most of you blank out when it’s time to go shopping? Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. I will NOT watch the game with you and will probably never understand the frustration, anger or slander which ensues as a result of losses. However, I can compromise. I vow to not interfere with the sports obsession of my future boo. I’ll make sandwiches, wings, and I’ll serve chips, dip and beer. I’ll be quiet and shop with his credit card tinker on the computer when the game is on. I’ll sit and sip my drinks while he hoots and hollers with his boys over the game at the bar and I’ll even get tissues to wipe up blood after the fistfights too.

*Except figure skating & gymnastics. (lol)


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