I need to make a new friend. I never wanted it to come to this but it seems as though I have no choice. I have four female friends. Just four. Anyone else outside of those 4 are merely acquaintances. Of course there are some people who I am more acquainted with than others but they’re not my friends.
Three out of four of my friends live in the southern half of the country and not even near one another. I have one friend here in New York but she’s often busy trying to take over the world. I have a busy schedule myself but in my free time there are things that I like to do which require a partner in crime or co-conspirator. But I don’t know how to make new friends.
Maybe saying that I don’t know is a bit extreme, especially when the top reason is that I just don’t trust people. Second, is that I find people to be very strange; it’s rare that I’ll click with someone. Friendships are give and take and finding that balance with someone else isn’t always a simple feat. I’m very picky with whom I allow into my life and in the last 15 years or so I’ve only let one new friend in. That was about 3 years ago. I don’t care to have a bunch of associates in my life. I do not like having superficial connections with people.
There are acquaintances in my life who I know mean well and who are really nice people but our lifestyles and schedules just don’t allow for a prosperous friendship. We may chat once in a while or grab a bite to just catch up, but essentially, we are not homegirls. I know people who check up on me because they are only interested in what I am doing with my life and how I’m maintaining. I do not like this so I keep my correspondences with these people to a minimum.
At one point I thought that my becoming a parent would broaden my horizon when it came to meeting new people, because so many people have children. How could I lose? Well, I managed to. Not everyone parents the same way and that is to be expected. It just goes against everything I stand for to befriend someone who I think is a subpar parent to their children. People who know me well know the type of parent I am and that I take this very seriously. On the opposite spectrum there are people whose complete life is just their children. I don’t mesh well with these folks either. I used to go on playdates and was bored to tears by other moms who had no lives other than diapers, spit up and messes. Sorry, but nobody wants to hear about your kid 24/7 just like nobody wants to hear about your significant other 24/7. Does anyone go out for a drink, dinner, dancing or anywhere, just alone? Apparently, I wasn’t your typical parent.
I’m also not your typical person. I would rather chill by myself than to surround myself with a bunch of people who don’t know me. Letting suspect people into my space just for the sake of having a friend is not something I’ve ever been prone to do. As I grow older and more set in my ways I find it exhaustive to get to know new people as a means to see if we click. It’s really a lot like dating and you know I hate that. I mix well with smart people who have their own minds, opinions and high self-esteem. My current friends do what they feel is right in their lives regardless of what others are doing and this is why we mesh.
Maybe I don’t need a new friend.