Reciprocity

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The suffix -ship means state of being, so typically any word ending in -ship reflects the nature of various involvements between people. The act of doing anything together usually calls for a two way street. This avenue is called reciprocation.

Like the cynic I am, I expect the least from people. This also includes people I’m dating or people I am interested in dating. At the very most I only expect from them what I am willing to give but I find that there are often cases where people will not return even that. This type of unequal arrangement can cause a lot of hurt, harm and danger. (Sorry Nany, I had to.) Let’s go over some rules for living on: Reciprocation.


1. ‘Tis better to give than to receive.

Please understand that whatever you choose to give to someone may not necessarily be returned. This is tricky because we often make moves under assumptions. But the conclusions at which you’ve arrived may not mirror that of the other person. So before you go giving your time, attention, money or yams, first take that into consideration. Tread carefully. If you have given these things minus a prior discussion of obligations or commitments, you are gambling. If you lose, take the “L” and move on. GO TO JAIL. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

2. Analysis

So you’re giving. And giving, and giving some more. The recipient is not reciprocating. You have some form of agreement, established or assumed (see step 1 about assumptions) and the other person is not holding up their end of the deal. This is where you have to make a choice. Before you make the decision to get salty or wild out, analyze the level of importance that person has in your life. If this person has no bearing on your life whatsoever, eff em B. Fall back. Why get upset over what someone chooses not to do for you? Especially when they’re essentially nobody? I don’t know about you, but I like to save my energy. However, if this individual means enough to you, have a sit down about what your expectations or hopes were as a means to clarify and hopefully rectify the situation. If the person is less than agreeable or falls through on the agreement made during your discussion, fall back or just keep it moving completely. Avoid being salty at all costs! Salty is a bad look! You’re just going to look silly in the eyes of a person who didn’t give a damn anyway. Remember, a person who cares WILL step up!

3. Dating is a game. 

As much as we front about hate playing games, no matter how we slice it, dating is a game. So play to win. When we are interested in someone we hope that the feeling is mutual or there lies the possibility of it becoming so. We want to be in their space. Pay close attention to the cues people give you. You will NOT win by hassling someone to give you what you need. That makes people flee. Never come on too strongly and only give just enough to leave people wanting more. The element of mystery is key. Cater your approach to each individual for a higher rate of success. Always remain a step ahead, have someone something to fall back on and NEVER take transgressions lightly. Remember that silence is often more effective than a verbal attack and always know what the other person wants from you because that is their weakness.

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