Are You a Nitpicking B*tch?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about men it’s that they are simple creatures. They are not hard to please. Us women miss the mark time and time again by over-analyzing their actions and non-actions. We give them too much credit by thinking that everything they do is a part of some well thought out plan. Far from it.

Now, there are some true players who will devise a laundry list of schemes as a means to deceive women, but from my experience most men aren’t so dramatic, or clever. Also, since more and more women are agreeing to alternative types of relationships and situations, it seems as though less thought is required to carry on deceitful activity. A man will also show us what the deal is if we would just pay attention. But you aren’t hearing that. Moving on.

So you’ve mastered lessons in reciprocity and you have a boyfriend now. Like an actual good guy this time. Good job. But somewhere in your euphoric state of gushy love, you’ve forgotten that MEN GET CAUGHT UP IN FOOLISHNESS! A good portion of the time they don’t even realize it. Your reaction to minor incidents is the difference between being labeled wifey or that nitpicking b*tch. Listen up!

Your boo is on a social networking site and so are you. Let’s talk tweet for now. He’s engaged in a conversation with a woman in which he’s complimented her avatar. You browse through her timeline, she’s flirted with him on occasion. He responds back politely, not suggestively but you don’t notice that because you’re pissed that he’s even entertaining this b*tch. Now you’re following the broad, stacking up things to make your case. You begin subtweeting things. Dude is clueless and asks you what’s up. You get salty with him about the girl.

Are you CRAZY?

Let’s recall about how YOU used to tweet flirty things to him on Twitter. This led you to DM’s, emails and a meetup in person. YOU consented to dating a person you’ve either met or communicated regularly with on a social networking site. You can’t be pissed that he’s uhm, well, SOCIAL NETWORKING. You can’t judge people based on the circumstances under which you’ve allowed them into your life. What part of the game is that? The hypocritical part? Oh.

Another thing women don’t realize is that nobody has to communicate on Twitter. If he was really hiding something why would it be there? Like seriously. Is a woman online more of threat than the women he passes on his way to and from work? I’m going to need the ladies to set their delusional settings to low.

You’re comfortably into your relationship. You notice that he doesn’t send as many texts or calls as much as in the beginning. Are you b*tching at him about this? Uhm, why? As you’re exclusive, he’s probably spending a lot of time with you, right? If he is not, WHY is he your man? We are outside of the dating stage remember? Do you need the calls and texts all day while you’re at work? In this economy? Check yourselves.

He ignores a lot of phonecalls when you’re around, so now you’re suspicious. Has it ever occurred to you that he may just want quality time with you and you alone? Or that he realizes he cannot call or text as much while handling business, so he handles as much as he can when you are not around, and ignores folks when you are together? Relax! Men are typically not chatty individuals. I doubt he’s going to say “Hey babe, I’m going to be busy for a while, so I can’t call or text as much during the day, but we’ll spend uninterrupted time tonight.” He may say that after you confront him about it, but ahead of time? Doubt it.

Avoid being crazy! It doesn’t get you far unless the man likes crazy women but chances are he is also crazy.

What women don’t get is that if we meet a man’s density with craziness every time, he’s going to feel shut out. This is even worse when he genuinely feels that he didn’t do anything wrong. Do you know how many men are clueless as to when a woman is flirting with him? In their quest to not hurt feelings, (because we’re dealing with GOOD men here) they’ll respond politely and not think anything of it.

Thinking about the scenarios above, if your man truly didn’t do anything wrong, you would stay with him right? If this is the case, approach any uncertain situation as if you intend to keep him. When a man chooses a woman to be his lady, he did not sign up for being questioned on every whim or intensely scrutinized. As women, if we are unsure of the person whom with we are dealing, we should deal cautiously or not at all.

Be easy.

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4 thoughts on “Are You a Nitpicking B*tch?

  1. I agree with you but only to an extent, yes you need to pick your battles and no you don't need to bitch about everything, however; let's address twitter… Firstly, lucky for me, my man only uses twitter to make money, as far as speaking to women back and forth, hell naw… He has a family so there's no need for that mess, as far as a man responding to flirting on twitter – he shouldn't be responding, period. The reality is, twitter can be harmful to relationships, when I was a single woman, PLENTY of men, who were in a relationship, tried to talk to me, DM'ing me nasty inappropriate messages and stuff. Think of how many men you've met via twitter or corresponded with. I don't want to hear that “social networking shit.' Yeah, a single woman could say that because you're not in a relationship, and it all SOUNDS good because you don't have a man – but we all know, once we get in a relationship, shit changes. I don't investigate everything that I see in my house, but I'll tell you what, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, damnit it's a duck. I watch snap, there's always a chick out there willing to f+@k someone elses man, and because of that, you have to stay on point. I'm not concerned about being cheated on but I am concerned about some crazy twitter broad running up on me with a bottle because she wants what I have.

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  2. I also want to add that, “good-men” cheat too, sometimes, not because they “intend” to but because women are crafty. As you've already addressed, men aren't always as smart as we would hope. Something casual and unintentional can turn into a full blown out affair. This is why women shoudlnt allow their man to even get caught up in it, as my homegirls husband says, “I know their are some trifling ass loose goose women running around, I don't surround myself around them; I don't have twitter because I don't need it.” There's NO SUCH THING as harmless flirting with someone you supposedly “don't” know…

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  3. I mentioned that a lot of the time men don't even realize when a woman is flirting with them. A polite response isn't killing anyone. I also wasn't addressing involved men who seek out other women on Twitter. The Twitter bit was related to non-suggestive responses to other women. Not anything inappropriate or disrespectful. There are women who stalk, snap and flip out unnecessarily. Relationship or not, it's not a manner of which I would conduct myself or would suggest for others.

    Good men cheat, but good men also shouldn't be treated like a criminal under baseless circumstances.

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